All Hands On Deck
by Vampykitty-kun
Summary: Tim genuinely wanted to know what he had done to deserve such a night… - Drunken Shenanigans, Mildly Dubious Consent, Jay/Tim/Dick


Tim was not sure how this always seemed to happen to him…

He had no idea _when_ he had apparently become the go-to person for those in the family that had been drinking for one reason or another. Perhaps he could have been a therapist if he had never become Robin so many years ago because quite frankly, everyone seemed to use him as one in one way or another.

Cass was a stoic drunk, simply wanting company as she silently stared off into space, never talking about why and how she had come to be intoxicated, and he never once pried. She was a private person at times and he gave her that.

Steph was a lively drunk, all smiles, constantly happy, raring to go. Dancing, twirling, always so loud. And then she would spend the night next to the toilet, pressed against the tile floor. Apologetic in the morning over a plate of waffles before she cleaned up whatever mess she made in any room.

Kon was a cuddler. Many a times he had suffered through bear hugs, pinned against his broad body by hand or his TTK, on occasion sleeping draped across Kon's chest, something that wasn't entirely too unpleasant but all the same…

Now Dick and Jason? The two that came to him most often? They were the ones that were hard to handle.

Jason never forgot. No matter how much the man had drank, he was always coherent enough to remember things in the morning, causing much awkwardness over breakfast. He never became ill. Unlike his sober self, he was very non-violent, almost always content. He too liked to cuddle. But he was also handsy, with no sense of personal space, and thought nothing of grabbing his ass or sticking a hand up the back of his shirt, and only laughed when he batted his hands away.

Dick was sad. Mopey. He thought too much about the bad things that had occurred over the years. He cuddled, and sobbed, and whimpered as Tim would run a hand through his hair soothingly. He liked to watch quieter movies with his head in Tim's lap, snuggled within a thick blanket cocoon.

Jason and Dick were harder to manage, but he was more than capable of handling them.

Only… he had never expected to have them both at the _same_ time.

This he was not prepared for, and he learned quickly that he most definitely could not handle _that_ …

Dick had arrived first in all his mopey glory, this time crying because Babs had kicked him out (he surprisingly had gone to her first on this night instead of running straight to him), because he fully believed for some strange reason that Bruce hated him rather suddenly, and had whined that he missed Damian being his partner and highly reluctant, 'semi-violent' cuddle buddy. Tim had humored him of course, no sense arguing with a drunken Dick.

They had been halfway through whatever movie Dick had put on (Tim had chosen to read instead, ignoring the television all together) when his alarm system disarmed abruptly and Jason sauntered in from the balcony.

Tim drew in a deep breath as the man entered the room, leery and unnerved by the two men being in the same enclosed space as one another. To his surprise, Jason only frowned and crossed his arms over his chest in a seemingly legitimate pout.

"Cheating on me Timmy?"

And Tim could only choke on air as Dick let out a gasp and began to congratulate him on a non-existent relationship. The glare he shot Jason seemingly went unnoticed as he plopped down on the couch next to him, side opposite of where Dick lay curled against him, and cracked open a can of beer from the half empty case he had brought along.

As it would turn out, Dick had been in a Disney mood of all things, and he had to listen to Jason scoff at various parts of the movie (having long since given up on reading) while at the same time repeatedly removing Jason's leather clad hand from his thigh.

Tim genuinely wanted to know what he had done to deserve such a night…

After one particularly weepy scene, Dick had a can of his own in hand, and Tim was simply praying he would survive the night with the two men.

After the movie had ended, Dick worse for wear, puffy eyed, and slurring, Jason confiscated the remote, placing some random, horribly overdone action flick on Tim's wide screen television before he could argue against it.

A quarter of the way through he wished he had.

Tim had been far too wrapped up in the inaccuracies the film was portraying, so much so that he hadn't seen the sneak attack coming, and even if he had, he would not have been expecting it from both ends.

All at once he was being hoisted into Dicks' lap, back pressed against the other's chest as the man snuggled into the crook of his neck and wrapped his arms around his waist. Tim had barely had the chance to squawk indignantly before Jason took full advantage of the situation, and slipped in between his flailing legs to press tightly against his front, firm hands gripping at his hip and shoulder as he nuzzled against the opposite side of his throat.

Tim sucked in a sharp breath, squeaking as Jason's teeth grazed his flesh, nibbling at the scar he himself had left upon it. He shoved both hands against the man's chest in effort to push him off, only to be thwarted by Dick removing them and entwining his fingers within his own.

"Jay-Dick, what in the hell are you- _mmph_!"

All complaints were muffled as Jason pushed even closer and thrust his tongue into his mouth with a smirk he could feel against his lips. His eyes bulged, and he squirmed in Dick's bear-tight grip, but found no escape, not without harming the man behind him, and potentially head-butting Jason in the processes.

Thankfully, Jason _did_ have to come up for air eventually, and as soon as he was released, he ducked his head away, avoiding the return attack.

"Dick, let go, Jason, _get off_!" He snapped, wrenching a single hand free from the older man.

"Psh… I'm _trying_ , Baby-bird." Jason snickered, wagging is brows, before reattaching himself to Tim's throat.

Tim let out a frustrated whine, and twitched as Dick's free hand skirted back around his waist, fingers toying with the hem of his shirt.

"Dick! Let me go!"

"Tiiiiimm, we're jus' bein' nice…" He murmured, pulling Tim tighter against his chest. "You're sucha good little brother… puttin' up with us, listening to our problems-"

"Having such a welcoming mouth… honestly, I could put that baby to some _really_ good use…" Jason added, purring with the lewdest look upon his face.

And that there was where Tim drew the line.

With a sigh, he reached up, slipping his free arm around Jason's neck. The man seemed to think it an invitation and tilted his head to reclaim Tim's mouth, tongue twisting against his, teeth nipping at his lower lip.

And Tim let him, welcoming the brief distraction, all before hitting Jason with a nerve strike to the neck that had the man slumping forward against him, out like a light.

While this eliminated Jason as a threat against his virtue, it also sent two hundred and twenty-five pounds of dead weight leaning heavily against him, and the three of them toppled backwards against the couch.

It didn't surprise Tim in the slightest when Dick only gave a happy sigh, and curled around him tighter, adjusting their positioning so no limbs were pinned.

"…Dick?"

"Let's sleep. We can talk more n'the morning. Snuggle now, coffee later." The man chuckled, running hand through Jason's hair.

Tim could only sigh, sandwiched between Dick and an unconscious Jason who lay with his face against his chest, and pray that some sanity had returned to the pair in the morning… and he could slip away for a shower without getting mauled.


End file.
